I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
