Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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