Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need a beard to bite.
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