Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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