You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize