honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
