Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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