I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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