As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
