Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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