the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
