Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
