Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
where am i from again
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
