I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize