I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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