Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
