I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
