"it" just moved
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.