I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Should I go bust a nut on the beach