Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I want is dick and wine.