everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?