I have demons in me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
sex in a hospital.. check