if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She bit a glass in half.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
