you guys were way drunker than both of me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
