She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
