A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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