I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
