Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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