I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
