you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just high enough for therapy.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
