hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful