I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
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