I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
