Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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