thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My friends, they love my intelligence
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
