CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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