Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
