Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
