Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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