You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
