i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
