you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.