dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history