Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life