he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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