A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
porn star boner night. come get it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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