so that wasnt chicken after all
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
