Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
