im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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