i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
