Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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