**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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