i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
