Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
