The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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