Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
