The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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