bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
