I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Congratulations! We have a period
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