i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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