JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
